Trying To Find Your True Self? Careful What You Wish For

Find your true selfAre you one of those people that goes around talking about finding your true self? Knowing who you are in life? Following your passion? Be careful what you wish for!

Not finding is more convenient, comfortable, faster and financially smarter…

Expectations

Here lays the root of all evil. What the heck are you expecting to happen once you find what you’re looking for? in this case, YOU. Do you expect everything to suddenly turn pink?

Most of the time expectations are the misleaders {is that a word?} to disappointment.

We’re fools setting ourselves up for ugly reality checks.

The Formula: How To Find Yourself

  • The first step to finding yourself is to STOP looking.
  • Erase that person that told you to jump on a quest to find your “true being” from your contacts.
  • Shut up. Go deep, deep inside and listen.

Sorry the formula isn’t more poetic {Sugar-coated version coming soon… maybe}

The Test: Find Passion In Others

It is easier to find other people’s passions. Here are a couple of examples on how to conduct this exercise and maybe you can even have some impact in their lives.

Example # 1:

The other day, in the middle of a conversation with a friend much younger than me, I found myself falling in a total state of listening. I know, doesn’t sound like much but let’s be honest, truly listening to another human being is not as common as we claim it to be. Anyways, we were discussing home business opportunities and she started talking about an old job she used to have, suddenly everything changed! she changed her posture, her body language, she started speaking faster and louder, an orgasmic smile took over her entire face.

There is your passion baby! How come she can’t see this?! I asked myself…

Example # 2:

My daughter has been confused about her major for some time, she thought about Visual Arts but I guess it wasn’t solid enough {in her mind}. Lately, the only show she watches on TV is Ace of Cakes so one day we said “Why don’t you do that?!”

Long story short… A couple of weeks ago she made a cake of an electric guitar that knocked everybody’s socks off. What I couldn’t believe was the excitement on her face.

We all change and I don’t know if that’s what she’s gonna do for life, but for now, I think she found something.

The Quick Answer: Flow Or No Flow?

Do you know what “mental state of flow” is?

The Flow Channel

Very easy, have you ever lost track of time while working on something? The level of engagement was so intense that you worked on it for 12 straight hours without getting tired or even thinking about eating, you had no distractions at all and your rhythm was so fast-paced that you made unbelievable progress, good ideas were hitting you like a thunder storm…

That’s flowing.

On the other hand, sometimes you have to fight to stay focused, you get distracted by just about anything, end up checking email or twitter every chance you get. You feel like the load is so heavy it’ll never end.

This usually happens when you hate your job, you’re doing something just for the money or you’re probably working from your flaws instead of your strengths.

That right there, is the difference between following you passion or going against it. That is being true to yourself. The reason we fail to see things like this is because they’re too simple and we’re looking for complicated.

The Side Effects

When you realized who you truly are and what your passion is, you create a path that becomes an option. Now you have 2 options:

  • The known path. You might not like it but you’re familiar with it and are even comfortable, you have a steady income. Why rock the boat, right?
  • The unknown. It requires that you risk everything. You will have to go from “copy and paste mode” to creating original stuff from scratch. You might even have to go from getting a salary to putting your own cash on the line or building an income from Zero, Nada… week after week.

That’s a no brainer, right? Hell NO!

Now you became aware of heaven and hell and it’s present in your heart and mind every damn minute of your day. Settling for less is now turned into pure agony.

Walking around life not knowing who you are is easy. Knowing exactly who you are and looking the other way is hell.

Now you’re keeping everybody happy. Except yourSELF.

The Reward

There is a reward for taking the rocky path, or I should say a few:

  • from now on you will fail {more than once…} with a smile on your face
  • you will lose money or sacrifice material things with no regrets
  • you will be rejected over and over again and you will keep throwing punches
  • you will experience high levels of energy flowing like there’s no tomorrow

Again, doesn’t sound like much…

The Thermometer

The good news is that you usually need only one tool to measure if you’re moving towards finding your true self or if we’re moving away.

Say hello to your new BFF: ANXIETY.

Starting today, anxiety will keep you on your toes. It will increase or decrease depending on how close you are to your true self.

The Final Word

The only thing I can say is this, if you’re willing to experience some dark moments before finding light, if you have the balls to go for the craziest ride of your life and if you’re willing to upset a few folks…

Just remember one thing, finding your true self is like selling your soul to the devil, there is no turning back.

Guest Post by Francisco Rosales  /  SocialMouths@socialmouths

  • http://simontooley.wordpress.com/ Simon Tooley

    Francisco – thank you – for getting it so dead on and making me laugh…at myself! Keep writing man, keep teaching, and keep inspiring!
    Simon

  • http://www.socialmouths.com Francisco Rosales

    Thank you Simon, this means a lot, first because it's coming from you and second because I'm way out of my field on stuff like this.

    Have a great day!

  • http://www.adaliaconfidenceandsuccessblog.com Adalia John

    I really enjoyed this post…It's took me and held me in its magnetic grip. Yes, if we set out to find ourselves…we become the proverbial dog chasing its tail. What we are looking for is inside of us. We are not seeing it because we are expecting it to come from some place else. That's is why – like you did with your daughter – sometimes, an intuitive observer, can help you see that which is being over looked by you…your brilliance.

  • http://www.socialmouths.com Francisco Rosales

    Thanks for your comment Adalia. I'm tempted to hire a professional “intuitive observer” for me…

  • http://www.roundaboutmv.com Lori

    Francesco, can you talk more about Anxiety? Are you saying that when we're coming closer to our authentic selves, we become MORE anxious? I guess I hoped it was the other way around — that as I become more true to myself I will be calmer and less anxious.

    I'd love to understand this.

  • http://www.socialmouths.com Francisco Rosales

    Good call Lori. I'm reading it back and I guess I didn't explain myself very good…

    This comes from personal experience, I believe your anxiety level goes down significantly when you get closer to your true self. This has nothing to do with our financial situation or any other external circumstances.

    I use anxiety as a thermometer. The trick is to realize that you're anxious right in the moment and instead of fighting it, take a moment to acknowledge it and observe your feelings. There is usually a reason for it.

    The moments of highest levels of anxiety in my life are when I'm not aligned with my dreams and goals. When I'm going against my values or beliefs due to external circumstances.

    I hope this helps clarify my position. Thanks for pointing that out.

    Have a great weekend!

  • http://www.socialmouths.com Francisco Rosales

    Good call Lori. I'm reading it back and I guess I didn't explain myself very good…

    This comes from personal experience, I believe your anxiety level goes down significantly when you get closer to your true self. This has nothing to do with our financial situation or any other external circumstances.

    I use anxiety as a thermometer. The trick is to realize that you're anxious right in the moment and instead of fighting it, take a moment to acknowledge it and observe your feelings. There is usually a reason for it.

    The moments of highest levels of anxiety in my life are when I'm not aligned with my dreams and goals. When I'm going against my values or beliefs due to external circumstances.

    I hope this helps clarify my position. Thanks for pointing that out.

    Have a great weekend!

  • Mischa

    I’m sure some people are able to relate to this way of bein
    g. However, this is bullshit advice in my opinion. Hopefully the author is not a psychotherapist. Maybe the author is scared to face himself for whatever reason. But do not try to convince others not to get to know their inner selves. From experience jt is difficult but the reward of finding the connection to myself is amazing and life changing.

  • Mischa

    I agree

  • anonymous

    Even though I find it hard to actually to actually give up looking for myself and I probably won’t take your advice, I still found it very interesting to read what you had to say. Thank you for the rare opposing point of view.

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